love, anyways

in the morning

when the sunlight hits the mountain tops,

i think of you

in my head you hold my hand

suddenly, i stand there and

the moment before night and day

is captured in the sky

it is as bright as your silky hair

somewhere in the sky, the moon hides

and soon enough it is night again

now, when I wake

you’re not near

the moon is gone

and i feel everything

the note on my door :

“i am not strong enough to love you, anyways

my heart can’t carry your pain”

no matter where i am

you leave me feeling empty

Winter II

It’s hard to tell from beginning to end

the moment i fell down

the moment that i settled

on this cold hard ground

awashed with colors

i can no longer see

and filled with people

i cannot meet

it’s hard to tell from beginning to end

the moment

i felt uncomfortable

in my own skin,

with a face

i can no longer look

straight in the eyes

Long Nights

thank you, for the shame and disgust

your touch left

lingering, on my skin

thank you for the long nights,

i spent carving lines on my body

thank you, for the pain i felt in my chest,

after i let the one i loved go,

because i couldn’t love myself like he loved me

for the pain that you caused

and the pain that you erased

my heart has learned forgiveness

i hope that yours does too.


Morning comes and you’re not home

Everything is falling through

The lights are blinding

And I’m sitting there

In that stupid fucking chair

Take a stand 

Hold the knife 

Dig it deeper 

Don’t come back 

Don’t come back

I’ll be alright 

Yeah, I’ll be alright

Well, my bones ache now

This cold is tiring but not as much as you

It’s funny you think, I think of you

I have nothing left to say, that’s true

I would never waste a tear for you

Take a stand now

Hold the knife

Twist it further

Don’t come back 

Don’t come back

I’ll be alright

Yeah, I’ll be alright.