Author

I can show you love

I look into the living room, the place where you would rest

in my head I watch you sleep

Taking in deep breathes

well the whiskey and the wine, they took the pain away

I’ts been a few months

but sometimes when the moon is out, I can hear your voice

and my heart will hurt once more

you took me for granted but I think I did so too

when I was together

when my only glue was you

I thought it was true

Now, I know it wasn’t you

I look into the living room, the place where you would rest

the heaviness I felt

feels lighter on my chest

giving me a sign, I’m forgetting what you said

That your’e falling out of love

and I could never be enough

you took me for granted but I think I did so too

the knife went through

how bad does it hurt

go on, tell me it’s true

It was never, ever you.

Ghosts.

Look away from my reflection

The face staring back is not mine

This ship has long been past

With grooves set deep into the rocks

That’s torn apart in two

And we watch as the rain falls on the heart

Set a flight like lightning in the sky

A face with snake like charm

Trapped within your honey coated gum drops

Seeing is believing, now we don’t want to see anymore

She reaches out and pulls you close

Pretty close now, face to face

You’ll need a tourniquet to keep yourself intact

The darkness sleeps through your skin

Tainting you with the very thing you run away from

There is no separation of the heart

it was you all along.

Untitled

Suppressing is not forgetting

there are things inside me i have not overcome

and with our narrative i have come to the realization

that i am a reflection of you, toxic and egotistical

me

i thought you would help change, no, teach me

that with the power of your faith you have taken the best of me

your’e different, I am still the same

why is this confusion so deeply set in my heart

campanionship I valued the most, you are but an extension of my soul

but these words that echo inside me

haunt me everyday with the premise of unfufilling the needs of that soul

breathlessly awaken the part of me that hides underneath

for our paths have intertwined in a way they should have not

don’t patronize me, i know that i am lacking

i know that i am lost

i know i will forever be, this dark swirling mass of car exhaust

Letter for a Bird


Remind me of your touch, one last time before you leave

Those late nights we spent listening to those songs you like in my car

I just wanted to hold you in my palm

Like I did that night

I know things wouldn’t have changed, because you never even looked my way

through all the disappointment and regret, I still saw you

somehow imperfect and faultless all the same  

I still saw you, I wish you could’ve seen me too

Each day was an eternity, a thousand more when I thought of being without you

It hurt when you were far, and I died when you slept with her

My empty screams filled the space between us that night

and your silence meant a thousand words

My indifference wasn’t meant for you 

No one knows me the way you do, I never want to cause you pain

I promise, each day I wanted to be closer

I feel better when you’re near

and I can see your face

and I can see your eyes

and I can see your mouth

How do I say everything I want to say in less than a page?

In the chaos of my world, I didn’t mean to show you my back

But trust me, please, when I say the fast beat of my heart was not intentional 

and the loss of breath was never meant to make me faint

Just that the implications of this gravitation pull were too much to handle

So, I turned away, to ignore the burning of my flesh from the torch, that is your hand

and the beat of a thousand drums playing in my chest

and the memory of you over my head

I needed a break, to let myself understand what it was that I’d done, what it was that you’d done

You’ve changed, and I’ve changed with you

My love for you is unclear with every passing day I sit wondering what she has that I don’t 

If she can make your pain go away, tell me why I’m not enough to be your drug

What is it that makes me so different than her?

Despite all this, I can’t help but keep my thoughts of you

I can never hate you even when you make it hurt this much

I don’t blame you for running away, I just wish you could rest that lovely face of yours on mine

God brought you here so that I could choose you

Leave or take my love, I will be here when you lay low

You weren’t mine to lose, yet I lost you all the same

When you leave I hope you know I love you in every  possible way

You will remain, always, my dearest friend.