Ongoing today

I feel so empty 

Sometimes I’m happy

But it never lasts long

With rope burns on my neck

Raise with me your hand 

My intent for your forgiveness

This life is a mine field

And I never step 

In the right place 

Oh lord I need some drugs

Oh lord I need some drugs

I want to try 

And be better 

So I can ease my heart at night 

Lord I feel so empty

my mind always escapes

To places I cannot reach

Without my permission

I need to learn

How to stop drowning

When I know how to swim

Three Charms


The shadows bend

To the shape of your mouth

Years go by

And the ice has melted

There’s three of you

I feel confused

I’m not sure I know what I want

I’m not sure you know that you want me

I wished you could stay

I wish you would call

I wish you were strong enough to hold me

Truth be told,

My heart’s a little heavy

If I come back to you

I don’t think I’ll make it through. 

Unknown

by Esao Andrews

how many knives are on my back

how many times have I fought back

Am i lucky to be blessed with this weak heart

Im feeling heavy with lies 

and these voices wont stop coming around 

Do i take the blade pressed against my wrist

how long do i wait to be happy before i get closer to the edge 

Im tired of this empty space, i think i’ve waited long enough 

i think ive given up all i love

and the quiet aches those words give me 

tell me its too late, your’e too far away now

These hands that hold me up 

mean nothing if I cant speak up 

I wish he would have gifted me his voice

I am his child, but where is his love

I am yanked down when everything is going well

by hands that are all too familiar 

By words engraved in my mind 

constantly reminding me im not enough 

I can feel this distance, I yearn for this distance

its something illogical but its all i can feel 

if youre reading this, will you hold me back when i need you to?