Honey

by Amy Sol

I draw myself from the dark

With the heavy pain in my chest 

over staying it’s welcome and sharp as a rock

How do I cover myself to keep from unraveling 

These things make me undone

Mother, I wish you could cover me 

How many skies do I have to look at 

Before I find what keeps me here

Mother, I wish you could cover me 

And to these words that won’t leave my mouth

I’m not ready to see you 

So please don’t hold me down again

Your presence makes me undone

Mother, I wish you could cover me 

If I float will you catch me 

If you miss don’t let me fall too hard

Mother, why won’t you cover me

Closing

What do I need to do to make this feel right?

What do I need to do to figure out this puzzle?

I’m wounded and I’m lost,  feeling like I’m still walking in the past

Why can’t I get over myself

Why can’t I move on

There aren’t enough ways to say I’m sorry

And trust me, I am so sorry

I’ve been awake for years now

Trying to figure out how to fix this

It’s a scene we’ve seen before

Weeks and weeks and weeks

They feel the same, like I can’t escape you

Just here for me to know I can’t go on with this

How do I run from us?

My pulse runs the same and

You act your part just as I remember

My body doesn’t move even though I feel alive

If I need it, I’ll let you have what’s left of this existence

So I can find the answer to this extensive moment

Keeping me here, feeling like I’m senseless

I want you to feel how I felt stumbling, wordless

In the night and unable to grieve

You told me to move on

Let me close it this time

I’ll think of something clever, rip my page out of this book

and be as selfish as you say I am

Maybe this time you can find the answer.

Right Thing

I must be dreaming again

Because the world feels a little different today

You were there, the whole time you were there

Waiting so patiently for my door to open

All these precious memories

Seem to want to follow your footsteps

All just moments you seem to want to take back

Well what am I supposed to do with what’s left of this

How am I supposed to wait for something I can’t feel?

Am I a failure for not trusting in you enough?

I wish I knew what it was that I am waiting for

Then I would know if I’m doing the right thing.