I can show you love

I look into the living room, the place where you would rest

in my head I watch you sleep

Taking in deep breathes

well the whiskey and the wine, they took the pain away

I’ts been a few months

but sometimes when the moon is out, I can hear your voice

and my heart will hurt once more

you took me for granted but I think I did so too

when I was together

when my only glue was you

I thought it was true

Now, I know it wasn’t you

I look into the living room, the place where you would rest

the heaviness I felt

feels lighter on my chest

giving me a sign, I’m forgetting what you said

That your’e falling out of love

and I could never be enough

you took me for granted but I think I did so too

the knife went through

how bad does it hurt

go on, tell me it’s true

It was never, ever you.

Letter for a Bird


Remind me of your touch, one last time before you leave

Those late nights we spent listening to those songs you like in my car

I just wanted to hold you in my palm

Like I did that night

I know things wouldn’t have changed, because you never even looked my way

through all the disappointment and regret, I still saw you

somehow imperfect and faultless all the same  

I still saw you, I wish you could’ve seen me too

Each day was an eternity, a thousand more when I thought of being without you

It hurt when you were far, and I died when you slept with her

My empty screams filled the space between us that night

and your silence meant a thousand words

My indifference wasn’t meant for you 

No one knows me the way you do, I never want to cause you pain

I promise, each day I wanted to be closer

I feel better when you’re near

and I can see your face

and I can see your eyes

and I can see your mouth

How do I say everything I want to say in less than a page?

In the chaos of my world, I didn’t mean to show you my back

But trust me, please, when I say the fast beat of my heart was not intentional 

and the loss of breath was never meant to make me faint

Just that the implications of this gravitation pull were too much to handle

So, I turned away, to ignore the burning of my flesh from the torch, that is your hand

and the beat of a thousand drums playing in my chest

and the memory of you over my head

I needed a break, to let myself understand what it was that I’d done, what it was that you’d done

You’ve changed, and I’ve changed with you

My love for you is unclear with every passing day I sit wondering what she has that I don’t 

If she can make your pain go away, tell me why I’m not enough to be your drug

What is it that makes me so different than her?

Despite all this, I can’t help but keep my thoughts of you

I can never hate you even when you make it hurt this much

I don’t blame you for running away, I just wish you could rest that lovely face of yours on mine

God brought you here so that I could choose you

Leave or take my love, I will be here when you lay low

You weren’t mine to lose, yet I lost you all the same

When you leave I hope you know I love you in every  possible way

You will remain, always, my dearest friend.

Unknown

by Esao Andrews

how many knives are on my back

how many times have I fought back

Am i lucky to be blessed with this weak heart

Im feeling heavy with lies 

and these voices wont stop coming around 

Do i take the blade pressed against my wrist

how long do i wait to be happy before i get closer to the edge 

Im tired of this empty space, i think i’ve waited long enough 

i think ive given up all i love

and the quiet aches those words give me 

tell me its too late, your’e too far away now

These hands that hold me up 

mean nothing if I cant speak up 

I wish he would have gifted me his voice

I am his child, but where is his love

I am yanked down when everything is going well

by hands that are all too familiar 

By words engraved in my mind 

constantly reminding me im not enough 

I can feel this distance, I yearn for this distance

its something illogical but its all i can feel 

if youre reading this, will you hold me back when i need you to?

Honey

by Amy Sol

I draw myself from the dark

With the heavy pain in my chest 

over staying it’s welcome and sharp as a rock

How do I cover myself to keep from unraveling 

These things make me undone

Mother, I wish you could cover me 

How many skies do I have to look at 

Before I find what keeps me here

Mother, I wish you could cover me 

And to these words that won’t leave my mouth

I’m not ready to see you 

So please don’t hold me down again

Your presence makes me undone

Mother, I wish you could cover me 

If I float will you catch me 

If you miss don’t let me fall too hard

Mother, why won’t you cover me

Closing

What do I need to do to make this feel right?

What do I need to do to figure out this puzzle?

I’m wounded and I’m lost,  feeling like I’m still walking in the past

Why can’t I get over myself

Why can’t I move on

There aren’t enough ways to say I’m sorry

And trust me, I am so sorry

I’ve been awake for years now

Trying to figure out how to fix this

It’s a scene we’ve seen before

Weeks and weeks and weeks

They feel the same, like I can’t escape you

Just here for me to know I can’t go on with this

How do I run from us?

My pulse runs the same and

You act your part just as I remember

My body doesn’t move even though I feel alive

If I need it, I’ll let you have what’s left of this existence

So I can find the answer to this extensive moment

Keeping me here, feeling like I’m senseless

I want you to feel how I felt stumbling, wordless

In the night and unable to grieve

You told me to move on

Let me close it this time

I’ll think of something clever, rip my page out of this book

and be as selfish as you say I am

Maybe this time you can find the answer.