Still your body

Am I made like a tool 

You make it seem like my body is only for you

The deeper I look into the mirror 

I get further away from calling it mine 

You can say you’ve done your job 

The only one you’ve ever kept 

To make me feel like a sinner

When you were in the wrong 

Now when I’m lonely

My mind won’t work

As well as it should be 

I think I’m ready to drown

I think I’m ready to drown

I should learn to love myself

But I don’t seem to know how

I should learn to love myself 

But I don’t seem to know how

Peine d’amour

I am floating

Tumbling around 

Empty space 

As my body contorts 

Reaching for something 

To cling onto,

My mind 

Reverts to you

Playing the samples

Of your voice inside my head.

I swear I hear your laughter

Deep and hearty 

I close my eyes and picture 

The shape of you’re bare head 

Your bristling cheeks

As my hand moves down your jawline

I twist my body around

As if my chest was to your chest

And let out a breathless gasp

As I remember the feeling

Of your hand spanning the side of my hip

All those nights ago 

When we were alone

In the bed of your truck

Far off in the distance

I feel the weight of nothingness

Begin to collapse my chest

My eyelids feel heavy

Sleepily resisting my 

Effort

To see the darkness

My mind begins to slip

And with it

The warmth of your body

And the thumps inside my chest

A last spasm 

There goes my heart.

Take Away

When I showed you the book

I must have left it inside

The image of the girl you wanted

I guess it was like that

Take what you want

And hope I make it out 

I can wait 

Just let me know 

I’ll keep existing 

In a blind like state

Constantly checking 

For things to break 

My heart 

Oh I guess I could be 

What you want

But if I try 

I might sink down 

To someplace I cannot see

And I’ll still be cold 

I’ll take what I want 

I could never love you

When you’re so cruel

It hit me in the stomach

Take what you want away 

Take half of my heart away

It’s just life dear

It’s easier to hurt 

When there’s nothing to mourn

I can still be what you want 

But it wouldn’t be me 

Stranger

Saw my momma on the porch

the wind was warm, the air was heavy

with words we hadn’t said

And things we haven’t done

months have passed by but you still keep your head held high

I guess I’ve never really known you

Why you keep things close to your chest

Ive watched it tear you apart

but you never want to talk about it

and I’ve grown tired of it

I can never really hold you

when you’re nothing more than a stranger

Maybe down the line you can show me how to love you

You’ve never really reached out

I watched you from afar

As you tried to put things back together

and love a man that treated you so badly

I wish that I could say it was all right

when all I really want is to feel you near

I cant really breathe when you’re

crushing up my lungs

I can never really hold you

when you’re nothing more than a stranger

Maybe down the line you can show me how to love you

Saw my momma, on the porch across the street

the wind was warm, the air was heavy

Momma, dear, I hope that you can love me.

Days After

Sometimes I feel

like you planned this

drove all this way to catch my attention

Bet you told your friends right after

Did you think I would not notice

all of your intentions

Now I lay wide awake

thinking about a boy with brown eyes

Hoping that he’d come back

I think we both know

this can only happen one time

Now you’ve got my attention

Things seem to happen this way

I always get tossed away

Bet you have other ones too

Did you think I was just like them

know me from just a picture

Now I’m laying wide awake

Thinking ’bout your brown eyes

Hoping that you’d come back

I think we both know

It was only meant to happen this time