Stranger

Saw my momma on the porch

the wind was warm, the air was heavy

with words we hadn’t said

And things we haven’t done

months have passed by but you still keep your head held high

I guess I’ve never really known you

Why you keep things close to your chest

Ive watched it tear you apart

but you never want to talk about it

and I’ve grown tired of it

I can never really hold you

when you’re nothing more than a stranger

Maybe down the line you can show me how to love you

You’ve never really reached out

I watched you from afar

As you tried to put things back together

and love a man that treated you so badly

I wish that I could say it was all right

when all I really want is to feel you near

I cant really breathe when you’re

crushing up my lungs

I can never really hold you

when you’re nothing more than a stranger

Maybe down the line you can show me how to love you

Saw my momma, on the porch across the street

the wind was warm, the air was heavy

Momma, dear, I hope that you can love me.

I can show you love

I look into the living room, the place where you would rest

in my head I watch you sleep

Taking in deep breathes

well the whiskey and the wine, they took the pain away

I’ts been a few months

but sometimes when the moon is out, I can hear your voice

and my heart will hurt once more

you took me for granted but I think I did so too

when I was together

when my only glue was you

I thought it was true

Now, I know it wasn’t you

I look into the living room, the place where you would rest

the heaviness I felt

feels lighter on my chest

giving me a sign, I’m forgetting what you said

That your’e falling out of love

and I could never be enough

you took me for granted but I think I did so too

the knife went through

how bad does it hurt

go on, tell me it’s true

It was never, ever you.

Unknown

by Esao Andrews

how many knives are on my back

how many times have I fought back

Am i lucky to be blessed with this weak heart

Im feeling heavy with lies 

and these voices wont stop coming around 

Do i take the blade pressed against my wrist

how long do i wait to be happy before i get closer to the edge 

Im tired of this empty space, i think i’ve waited long enough 

i think ive given up all i love

and the quiet aches those words give me 

tell me its too late, your’e too far away now

These hands that hold me up 

mean nothing if I cant speak up 

I wish he would have gifted me his voice

I am his child, but where is his love

I am yanked down when everything is going well

by hands that are all too familiar 

By words engraved in my mind 

constantly reminding me im not enough 

I can feel this distance, I yearn for this distance

its something illogical but its all i can feel 

if youre reading this, will you hold me back when i need you to?